please help

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (Mystiladi) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:29:46 GMT

hi johnf, and again, welcome to the boards!

i am sooo sorry about your gf. i can imagine how frustrating this is for you, seeing someone you care about slipping into the scary world of eating disorders. but g (guru g) is right - this isn't something you can control. only she can make the decision to fight it and get better.

i don't think she is truly *pushing* you away. it's just that she knows you disagree with what she's doing to herself and may feel...

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (johnf) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:31:41 GMT

thanks i am hoping for the best too. i really hope that she will over come this because i honestly dont know what i would do without her in my life somehow.

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (Guru G) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:57:08 GMT

sounds to me like you have done all you can - you have offered your support as a friend but if she chooses not to accept that, I think you have to respect her wishes. Maybe it is still too difficult and stressful for her to have a relationship with you - hard as that may be for you to accept. Bottom line - I think if she is pushing you away, it is better not to push back - give her some space and maybe she will come back when she is ready. And if not, you will know that you did everything you...

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (johnf) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:34:02 GMT

well thanks it makes me feel a little bit better. Today i tried to take a chance and let her know that i was there for her as a friend and would be there to give her advise if i could or just listen of even be a shoulder to cry on. I mentioned that i felt like she has been pushing me away and she said she would not do that anymore. than a little while later she told me that she needs more time before we can be friends and is just pushing me away. All i want to do is be there for her while she...

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (Guru G) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 12:09:45 GMT

Hi John,

Please try not to beat yourself up over this... you did not cause it. Yes stress can be a factor (disordered eating is often a coping mechanism in a person who is not psychologically strong enough to cope using her own inner resources), but life is full of stress and if it wasn't your relationship, it would have been something else.

Disordered eating is often linked to poor self-esteem (you are right, yelling at her is not helpful, in fact it just reinforces...

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (johnf) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 10:52:08 GMT

thank you i will try to talk to her. I know her parents have noticed her weigh loss but they just yell at her and what not which doesn't help. she missed a period a couple months ago and now has them very irregularly. do you think that i was the cause of her relapse? i feel like the stress from our relationship caused it and i feel horrible about it. i know that she would love to have kids one day and i know that if she keeps on the track that she is on that will not be able to happen and...

Re: please help

feeds@yuku.com (Jam72) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 10:36:50 GMT

Hi Johnf

It's clear that she thinks she doesn't have a problem. Maybe now things are still "under control" but if she keeps doing what she is doing, things will get worse.

I would call her up and meet somewhere to talk. Start by saying you are very worried and that it would be a good idea if she seeked help. Explain that she has a history behind her and she could easily go back to it if she is not careful.

The problem with EDs is that we...

please help

feeds@yuku.com (johnf) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:44:51 GMT

please help!!!! i dated a girl for 10 months and was engaged to her. while dating she told me about how she use to have an eating disorder and would either not eat or if she did she would make herself throw up. She also told me that when she would exercise she would walk for miles or do a couple thousand situps. She went to treatment and got better but about 6 months into our relationship she asked me if i would buy her det pills i told her that i she didn't need them she looked...