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im also thinking of looking into an out patient treatment program but i am not sure i really want to do that...i know there is no way i will do an in patient program not even for fifty thousand billion dollars but maybe an out patient program....

well the next one is supposed to be tomarow but i may have to wait till next week to go. all week i have rehearsal rehersal rehersal cuz rectles this saturday so i dont know if i can make it this week but maybe next week

what am i supposed to do? should i stop being who i am or feel like being at the moment because she is embarresed of her own damn daughter.

it depends, LF, on the extent of what you mean by "being who you are or feel like being at the moment", you know? i mean, if you're asking if it should be ok to scream or swear at or hit your mom in public, just as examples, then no.
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thats not what im saying at all. but me i just practice dancing anywhere if i feel like it and i am going to make fruit talk to eachother if i want to and if the salt shaker and the pepper shaker want to talk and kiss at the table then by all means theres no law against that. im not taling about swearing or hitting her in public i dont ussualy even do that at home unless she starts it or pushes me over the edge but only at home. but so what if my dad are just having fun arguing. its kinda just what we do. or what if im singing row row row your boat. thats who i am!






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arent mothers supposed to accept you and love you for who you are not leave you in the middle of a store or something.

yes, mothers should provide unconditional love, but please know that just because she's walked away, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you, LF. it just means that she's angry and perhaps...i dunno...frustrated..? you didn't say what happens when she does this, and i don't know if it even makes a difference, but i can't help but wonder what it is that 'sets her off'. once again, speaking as a mother and with complete honesty, sometimes our kids DO embarrass us, LF, especially if they make a scene about something in public. i don't think that makes us bad mothers...in fact, i think it's a pretty normal response if her child is acting out. but again, without knowing what caused her to walk away, i can't fairly assess the situation... but it does sound like this is her way of impressing upon you that whatever you are doing at the moment is unacceptable to her.
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well sometimes me is unacceptable..but sometimes she had litteraly left the store and gone home without me and ive had to catch a bus home or call a friend ok that only happened twice. so what ya im alittle strange..especialy if im off my meds. yes i dance everywhere and yes my dad and i argue for fun or anoyance or whatever constantly. no im not normal im not pefect. so what i dont want to be normal and i shouldnt have to be and im not going to be. i cant. i cAant even pretend to be normal. im just not. so what if i read while walking and run into light poles or so what if my bracelet has a skull on it or i wear long sleeves in summer or am alittle hyper...hello. adHd. ya see the H yeah H stands for HYPER....hello. and so what if im conviced ostrages will take over the world or i like bunnies or i say pluto is a planet because trust me pluto IS a planet

see it not that wierd. kinda like when i wanted a coloring book she was like your to old for those i finaly got one when she wasnt looking with my own money and she got over it i mean hello my 50 year old art teacher still has coloring books! so what if i dont want to grow up. in a place full of peple so eager to grow up(ike my school) we need more people not eager to get old. whats so great about being older anyways! i dont really care much what she says or thinks but it still hurts that she doesnt always accept me for who i am.
i havent had a chance no. last weekened was my recitle and now im in niagra falls on vacation. its really nice up here. im on the canada side. i just got here today. the falls are beautiful and i got a new photography camera that takes wonderful pics which takes my mind off things. unfortunatly today was not as fun as it could have been. we ended up walking a long way unplanned and i was in sandles which because i have high arches i can only be in for short distances. so eventualy i just went barefoot. said the hec with shoes. but i got ton of awsome pictures. the second bad thing was after being in the car for most of two days and having to eat more since im around my parents constantly my mind has been running alittle ccrazy with calories food and everything. take picture how many calories did that burn? we waked how far let me do afddition in my head wait i need my fingers cuz i cant do it in my head blah blah blah wouldnt shut up. which kinda bothered me. and then my tummy hurt for a while after dinner cuz im not used to eating regular meals for two days in a row. but the sceenery has been amazing and im going to try to shut mybrain up and relax. probably wont work but im going to try anyways

i am trying ot

ill try..idk at the moment