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rainbowcolours		#21	[-]
Posts: 1774 (06/11/09 05:36:05) Bono Vox More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Wow wreds sweety I've been reading here, watching your pics and seeing you grow. I'm so proud of how you're doing right now And I'm enjoying your project and the pics you shoot! I came here with the intention to say the most brilliant words ever but well.... this is all my brains could come up with for now Kudos to you -Do not go gentle into that good night. You've got to rage against the dying of the light-
Mystiladi		#22	[-]
Posts: 5551 (06/11/09 13:08:12) Motherly Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I enter every year and never get anywhere, but I figure every year I get better and I have nothing to lose. maybe you could, um, amp up the optimism a bit..?? wreds..sweetie.. you have JUST as much chance as anyone else to win! but you have to believe in yourself, your talent, your abilities.. you know? we believe in you, wreds...i just wish that were enough. so go for it!! you have everything to gain!! not boredom-eating which is great. my new snoopy pajama pants rock my world sorry your friend is away tho. She just has this life she gets (maybe too) involved in. Other recovering addicts and exes and all that. ah-HEM....and that's all i'm sayin'.... Well hey its her life, I'm not her mother. She's 20 you know? true..and my, she IS young... well, i just hope this works out. i know you wanted her there for company, but it sounds more like she just needed a place to crash between social engagements. well, you still have your other friend who'll be there soon enough, right? thinking about you always, hoping for all things good for you, sweet girl. lotsalove and massive squishy "The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy."
wredsky		#23	[-]
Posts: 1797 (06/11/09 21:43:21) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Aw thank you ladies. I have to present my pics at our weekly workshop today. I hope they go down well. At least as a HUGE improvement from the first lot I showed. I was soooo embarrassed. I'm also going to be doing a second project alongside this one at Baragwanath Hospital in Soweto. It's the biggest hospital complex in the world and also one of the most derelict. I'm photographing in the psych ward next week. Should be WAY interesting. Well it looks like I might finally be getting this month's rent tonight. Here's hoping. I have stuff to pay off with the money. I get what you're saying Mys. I really do. I've got to have a good talk with L. I'm just not so good at things like that. Playing all landlord's daughter. But it'll be a good exercise for me anyway. Being lenient isn't helping either of us. Hey hooray my other housemate nominated me for a voucher at her gym that gets me a free month there! I have to go meet the lady this afternoon. I'm excited. It'll be a good thing until F moves in with his exercise bike. I have the time anyway. I've read 3 books in 4 days. Almost finished a 4th book. And maybe by the time the month's over I'll have a job and can sign up. Here's hoping. I'm after a job as an office assistant at Food and Trees for Africa, but the current assistant (who is apparently rubbish) needs to get fired first and that's apparently a whole process. Not that I wish for her to loose her job... but I kinda do It'll be great experience working inside an NGO since that's where I want to take my photography. Right. Friday. More coffee. Later ladies wreds
Mystiladi		#24	[-]
Posts: 5553 (06/13/09 02:13:41) Motherly Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I have to present my pics at our weekly workshop today. how did it go? i'm sure the pics were perfect! I'm photographing in the psych ward next week. Should be WAY interesting. make sure to let us know how it goes? Well it looks like I might finally be getting this month's rent tonight. she hadn't paid you upfront?? i sure hope you have it now! and you're right about being lenient - too many people will take advantage of that, sweetie. hope you had 'the talk' with her because it does sound as though she needs a little motivational prodding. my other housemate nominated me for a voucher at her gym that gets me a free month there! waaaay cool. I've read 3 books in 4 days. what are they? i always like to know what interests people. i'm strange that way. I'm after a job as an office assistant at Food and Trees for Africa, i think i can sort of guess from the title but what exactly do they do? and what's an NGO? best of luck in everything, sweet girl. we're behind you all the way. "The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy."
Cladner		#25	[-]
Posts: 1574 (06/13/09 09:00:19) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	hey wreds, sounds like you're being productive and healthy. reading is a great way to escape and keeps our brains working. mys made a great suggestion about asking your housemate for coffee. you're right. it's her life and all you can do is offer your support. keep on going wonderous wreds. look how far you've come. CLADNER
wredsky		#26	[-]
Posts: 1798 (06/13/09 20:52:27) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	You're too sweet C. how did it go? It went ok. Some good feedback. I really just have to keep shooting. she hadn't paid you upfront?? i sure hope you have it now! Ug. Not yet. She was out again yesterday so I sms'd her and told her I was stressing. She said her mom is bringing it by today. Let's see. I also contacted my dad about my other 2 housemates and he sent me a spreadsheet of how much they owe from the last year and a half. OMG. R38 000. Do you have any idea how much money that is in SA? That's around $4000. I had no idea. I have the honour of presenting them with this spreadsheet and my dad's gonna work out a payment plan with them when he is here next month. waaaay cool. Well I went to meet the lady at the gym my housemate goes to and she doesn't work there! She must've meant a different branch! I called and left a message but nothing back yet. Bugga. But I went to pilates yesterday and she killed my abs so I'm feeling groovy. She asked me if I've lost weight. Even though I haven't that question is aaalways welcome... what are they? i always like to know what interests people. i'm strange that way. Heh, it's not strange Mys, and I love talking about books. One was "The Republic of Trees" by Sam Taylor. A kind of Lord of the Flies effort about kids in France who go and live in the woods and try to create a new society. In the end they chop each other's heads off with a guilotine. "Snuff" by Chuck Palahniuk, the writer of Fight Club. About a porn queen who tries to set a world record on camera for... well.. you know "Blowout" by Susan Vaught was amazing. Blew my mind. About a kid who shoots himself in the head with his father's gun and survives. It's told from when he comes home after over a year of rehabilitation. He's lost the use of his left side and a year's worth of memory and has trouble with speech. He says everything that comes into his head and gets caught on thoughts. So it's written so interestingly. It's about his struggles to find out why he did what he did. Beautiful. Now I'm reading "Breath" by Michael Symmons Roberts, about a kid who dies and his lung is donated to a transplant recipient. It's told from the points of view of his father, the recipient, and the pilot transporting the lung who hears in her head the boy's last words caught in his lung. It's set in a kind of fictional country in the aftermath of a civil war between North and South - mountains and plains. Pretty cool. I'm almost done. Sorry you asked? can sort of guess from the title but what exactly do they do? and what's an NGO? They're a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO) who plant trees and food gardens in poor and underdeveloped communities. Since I want to ultimately photograph for NGOs and aid organisations it would be good to see the running from the inside. I got the most amazing news on Friday. The project manager at the photo workshop sat me down after our project session to tell me that the exhibition was funded by the National Arts Council, so the cost of it didn't have to come out of my grant. He said I only used R8000 ($800) of the grant money while making the work. Which means, as soon as he emails me the exact amount... I get to claim the rest of the grant. R22 000 (over $2000). OMG!!!!!!!! Officially it should be used for photographic growth since that is what it was meant for. So I'm gonna replace my pc (yay!) and invest in a studio kit (yay yay!) to try and get some income and maybe buy my mate's old laptop (maybe but yay!) AND get the tattoo I've been wanting to cover the scars on my arms. I'm soooo excited! I'm also looking at lenses and flashes but I want to save some too so maybe that will go in the wish list. This is a gift beyond gifts. I'm still in shock that all the things I've been dreaming about to take me forward can actually happen now. Boooya!!! Ok that's a long post. Your fault Mys I'm taking pics today of my mate's dad's machines that he builds for a website she's making for him. The rest of the day is chilled. I hope you guys are having as nice a weekend as I am. Love you all planet size. wreds Last Edited By: wredsky 06/13/09 20:56:39. Edited 1 times.
Cladner		#27	[-]
Posts: 1580 (06/16/09 14:51:50) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	wreds, wicked news on the grant!!!!!!!!!! Your potiential is shinning through. I like your ideas on how to use the money, especially the tattoo. Whoa, your reading sounds pretty heavy. you made me laugh and think of how I read People Magazine. sorry to hear about your unrealiable housemates. Be assertive. Their lack of consideration isn't your fault. If you have trouble staying strong and laying down the law, do it for your Dad................Good luck! I hope you track down the pilates instructor! love and lots of hugs. CLADNER Last Edited By: Cladner 06/16/09 14:57:49. Edited 1 times.
wredsky		#28	[-]
Posts: 1804 (06/19/09 06:48:29) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Hiya ladies. And thanks sweet C. Soooo things blew up when I gave my housemates the spreadsheet of what they owe. They swore. I cried back in my room. They said serious attitude stuff about my dad who has been nothing but generous, lenient and tolerant. I got the amount down to 10K and they and my dad agreed to it, but I haven't seen or spoken to them since. I can't look at them for what they said about my dad. I spoke about it with my counselor and sponsor but I'm still not sure what to do about it. Say what I need to say? Or let it go? I just don't know. On the plus, L is turning out to be a cool housemate, all-day shoot at the hospital yesterday and editing till 1am, I learned how to do panoramas in photoshop which rocks the party, I sorted out that gym thing and had my first swim in ages today, and eating is going ok. I feel nice. Also found something cool in a catalog to get my dad for his birthday/father's day. Just need to get some cash together. It's like a cushioned laptop holder with a little lamp on and a place for a cup I think he'll like it and use it alot. Well that's me. Later ladies wreds
Cladner		#29	[-]
Posts: 1582 (06/19/09 08:08:48) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Awww Wreds. The LAST thing you need is housemate trouble. They lack integrity........... I'd be furious if anyone said anything bad about my parents, especially since your Dad is the landlord. Tell them how hurt you are. Say what you need to say. Write it down.. Get it out somehow, if not for you, for your Dad. I'm glad F is a good guy. Good news on eating!!!!!!! I like your lap-top holder gift idea. I'm sure he'll love it. Stay firm Wreds. Stand up for what's right. CLADNER Last Edited By: Cladner 06/19/09 08:14:01. Edited 1 times.
Guru G		#30	[-]
Posts: 4591 (06/19/09 21:14:37) Fountain of Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I am mad too at your housemates for being rude about your dad and making you cry. THEY are the jerks, not you or your dad. Kick em out if they don't pay the rent, I say. In fact I would kick em out anyway.
wredsky		#31	[-]
Posts: 1812 (06/20/09 08:29:31) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Spending a lot of time here cos I don't have much else to do, heh, so bear with me Thanks guys for getting your backs up on my behalf. I'm trying to work up the guts to go over there and bring it all up. I usually have no problem speaking up to defend other people, but this feels so uncomfortable. Maybe because I've let a week pass. Dunno. I said to my dad that if he wanted them out I wouldn't argue, but he said he doesn't have the heart. That's him all over. Being financially screwed by ungrateful people and he still takes care of them. Anyway they made it abundantly clear that they couldn't afford anywhere with an actual reasonable rent, and I just can't screw them over like that either. I did sms them today and ask if they wanted to go halves with me on the present for my dad. The amount they'd have to put would be the price of a pizza each. But no reply. I got the lappy thingy anyway. I had to wrap it in xmas paper cos that's all we had The coooooolest thing happened this morning. My clutch failed at a traffic light going to an NA meeting (for those of you driving automatics, the clutch is the pedal you use to change gears ) so I couldn't get it into gear and I was completely stuck. So I'm standing there on the side of the road with my hazards on and people hooting and racing round me, and then this couple pull up and ask if they can help. The guy checked and said I was out of break fluid, so the lady stayed with my car while he drove me to a garage to get break fluid, brought me back, refilled it and we got it to work!!! I hugged them both and blessed them and their children and their children's children. Even more incredible is that the guy was on his way to the hospital with hectic chest pains.... but they stopped to help me!!! I love people! Ok that's all I got for now. F is here to hang. Yay! Later ladies wreds
Cladner		#32	[-]
Posts: 1583 (06/20/09 11:18:51) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I agree with G. Give your housemates the boot!!!!!!!!!!! Think of how your Dad would react if renters disrespected you in front of him??????? Stand up for him (and yourself in the process) I know it's easier said than do, but don't you own both your Dad and you that respect? Hope you're having a good weekend! CLADNER
Cladner		#33	[-]
Posts: 1584 (06/20/09 11:26:13) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Hey wreds, oops...missed your latest post.......I still say................KICK OUT YOUR HOUSEMATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your car story is so sweet. I wish THAT couple were your housemates (sorry I'm upset). Love ya. CLADNER
wredsky		#34	[-]
Posts: 1816 (06/22/09 10:55:54) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	You're cool C. But I'm not gonna kick them out. (gonna call them CE and GE). Our relationship has definitely changed though. And something has happened. CE had heart failure and is in the hospital. I found out from L, my new housemate. GE - CE's partner - told her today. I almost let myself get hurt that she didn't tell me, but then I remembered that my friend is in hospital and my other friend is hurting. It put it all in perspective. I sms'd GE and asked her to let me know when she was home so I could go over there, but she wants to be alone. And I've been sitting here with this childish resentment all week. Anyway. CE is going to be ok. I think L said she'd be out tomorrow. I've had a kinda low day. Just feeling useless without job or any hope for one. All these days passing. I found myself staring at the present I got for my dad. And actually, it's his money that paid for it, that he gave me to get through the month. He bought his own present. And when we go to dinner for his birthday he'll have to pay for me. On HIS birthday. The groceries I got today were bought with his money. And I have to take my car in to be checked. And the bill will go to my dad. I'M 26!!!!!!! And I can't do a freaking thing for myself. All I do is cost money. More and more and more and more. I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. But living like this is killing me. It's just taking so long. I don't know where to look anymore or who else I can ask for work or contacts. Pieces come in and I'm grateful for them but they don't amount to any measure of independence. I feel. So. Stuck wreds
Cladner		#35	[-]
Posts: 1588 (06/23/09 14:17:02) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Wreds, I'm sorry you feel stuck. I think you're pretty funky, resilient and artistic myself, but it's what YOU believe that counts. You are a kind and sweet daughter and friend. Your Dad loves you. He doesn't think of money like you do. To him, it's investing in you and whats more important than that? YOU bought your Dad's birthday gift. YOU put thought into what he would want. That's what will matter to your Dad. When you have dinner, he'll be happy you're with him, not who got the paycheck. WE think parents care about money because WE struggle financially, but they don't, so their priorities are different. You are working. You are creating. you're finding your way. Hope your housemate is OK. Remember that your Dad loves you for who you are - not what you give him. Lots of love. CLADNER Last Edited By: Cladner 06/23/09 14:19:15. Edited 1 times.
Mystiladi		#36	[-]
Posts: 5556 (06/25/09 04:27:39) Motherly Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Ug. Not yet. i hope by now..?? That's around $4000 holy moly...did they ever pay anything?? she doesn't work there! weird. did you ever hear back or find her? Sorry you asked? lol no, not at all. some really light reading, tho, huh... jeesh, no wonder you don't sleep well! IF i ever got to sleep i'd be having nightmares! I get to claim the rest of the grant. R22 000 (over $2000). OMG!!!!!!!! what wonderful news, wreds!! yay!! YAY!!!!! hope you get it soon! just make sure to put as much away as possible...maybe even foregoing the tats til you're working..? (momma mys speaking. can't help it. ) Your fault Mys i'm such a troublemaker. things blew up when I gave my housemates the spreadsheet of what they owe. their reaction is simply despicable, wreds, and they deserve to be out on their . they are users, have seriously abused yours and your dad's generosity and i doubt you'll ever see a dime of the money. they are not friends...friends don't treat each other like that. i absolutely believe you should 'say what you need to say', because they need to hear it. how else will they learn the error of their ways and not to take advantage of people's kindness? shame on them both. but this feels so uncomfortable. you're not the one who should feel uncomfortable, wreds. letting it go for a week is nothing compared to how long it's been that they haven't paid. i hope you will talk to them and tell them how you feel. we'e all behind you on this one. they made it abundantly clear that they couldn't afford anywhere with an actual reasonable rent, sounds like what they're saying is...we expect your dad to continue to support us.. wreds, this just isn't fair. they NEED to be put out, otherwise, how long will this go on? But no reply. And I've been sitting here with this childish resentment all week. "childish"?? no, you have EVERY right to feel resentment..and anger, too. they have made it clear they don't care about anyone but themselves...and after all you've done for them. it's his money that paid for it, i agree with everything our smart c said. it's just a really perfect gift, wreds, and i'm sure he loved it! they don't amount to any measure of independence. I feel. So. Stuck awww. what else could you do for work? something that would be salaried and full-time? there must be something that would put your education to good use? at least for a while...til you have regular and substantial amounts of work coming in, you know? then the photography work can be in your spare time. whatcha think? something will work out, wreds. keep your chin up and maintain a positive attitude. meanwhile i'm praying and "The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy."
wredsky		#37	[-]
Posts: 1818 (06/26/09 02:04:43) The Wordsmith More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	You guys are so cool. Thank you C for everything you said it was so reassuring. And Mys you rock. Ok, things and stuff. Ge and CE... I can;t kick them out. We'll work things out. They're still my friends My dad is going to draw up a payment plan for what they owe plus a rental agreement that they'll sign so then they'll have to pay back what they owe. They have been paying though they missed a couple months and sometimes only paid half. What I'm not looking forward to is when my dad comes back and sees that the trouble-maker dog of theirs is back... He bit my dad and attacks my dad's dog, so they sent him to CE's sister but brought him back because he was miserable. I told them a month ago that they had that time to sort out the fence to keep their dogs in the back yard... but they haven't My dad's home in a week. this is going to be interesting... Sorted out the free month at the gym and I've been swimming. I'm up to 1.5kms now, yay. Though no swim today because my car's in to have the clutch checked. The tat... mommy Mys..heh... I've re-connected with an old friend who has started tattooing, and he's gonna ink it for me for free once he designs it So sorted there! I'm soooo excited! I'm feeling less despondent. I did a job for a German newspaper this week so that's more cash to come in. And I've got lots of project work to work on. We went out to the hospital yesterday for sunrise and took panoramic shots from 12 storeys up. Soooo cold. But they're the sickest. Just dealing with some using thoughts and a little depression. It's all good though, it'll pass. Going to good meetings and staying busy. Laughing with L alot. I might hit a photo lab next week with my CV. Though I've noticed a lot of new staff there so they've probably done hiring recently. Also I asked my contact at Food and Trees for Africa if she had contacts at any other NGO's that I could look into and she said she'd think about it. Patience wreds. It's coming. On Tues my counselor said, "What if your higher power looked at all you've done this last year and decided, 'Cool, she's had a lot going on. I'm gonna make sure she gets the time she needs to settle into her new life and new identity before I throw a job at her'" That was an interesting way to look at it. So ye, patience. wreds
Cladner		#38	[-]
Posts: 1590 (06/26/09 11:21:23) Professional Gurlie Gurl More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Hey wreds, you're sounding pretty positive! good work! I love sunrise pictures! I know your new housemates are friends and you don't want to kick them out, but it's not right that they don't pay you or your Dad. Doesn't that make you mad????????? It makes ME mad. How come you seem to pick housemates in recovery from drug abuse? Does being around others who face similar challenges help you? Do you feel good about helping other addicts? I'm just wondering as your housemates seem to cause you so much grief. you have enough on your plate dealing with your own recovery, don't you? It's not up to you to provide a halfway house for addicts. This is your home. Please know that I am just concerned. You've worked so hard. Isn't part of recovery learning to assert yourself? You must have other friends who don't have drug issues. I worry that housemates in recovery cause you more stress than anything..... Good luck with the dog situation. Stay firm.....for your Dad at least. I like your counsellor's perspective. She (or he) sounds wise. Enjoy your weekend! CLADNER Last Edited By: Cladner 06/26/09 11:26:37. Edited 1 times.
Guru G		#39	[-]
Posts: 4598 (06/26/09 20:45:56) Fountain of Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	I agree with C. I feel bad about the dogs. It's not the dogs' fault - they are a reflection of their owners. It does not surprise me that your selfish, inconsiderate housemates have an aggressive, badly behaved dog. But the dog is not the problem. I always feel sorry for vicious animals because they have generally been abused in some way, either physically or mentally. Hope the perfect job comes your way soon! Or, failing that, any decent job!
Guru G		#40	[-]
Posts: 4599 (06/26/09 20:56:35) Fountain of Wisdom More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	p.s. I loved the story about the nice people who rescued you from your car trouble!

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