Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm new here. Joined about a week ago. Definitely not new to this stuff. Been dealing with body image issues most of
my life. Over 5 years ago, I was a member of an ED community. Back then, it was a matter of doing everthing and anything possible/necessary to lose weight.
Then I unexpectedly got pregnant with and had my daughter, went back to my old ways, almost 3 years later had my son at 34 weeks. Ever since his birth,
I've been a consistent binge eater... dealt with PPD, family relocated, struggled through a temp job that tested my patience and stressed me out beyond
belief. Now I'm doing the SAHM thing and was hoping that I could finally get a handle on things. Sadly, I'm still as depressed as ever and still find
that I'm binging like crazy... trying to eat away my emotions and instead, I create new ones of guilt and self hate. Just hoping to find some support here
since none of my family or friends really truely know what I'm going through (nor do I think they would even begin to understand). Thanks for reading...
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 xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 1 (07/06/09 19:55:08) |
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Guru G |
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Posts: 4614 (07/06/09 20:04:20) Fountain of Wisdom |
I think most if not all of us here *get* what you're going through! (what's SAHM?) 
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 2 (07/07/09 04:45:55) |
SAHM= Stay at home mom... much harder than I thought it would be... being the sole caretaker for a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Feeling like there's NO
reason why the house can't be immacculate... feeling like you should be super mom by being super attentive the the kids, or by doing cool mom things like
going to the park or going on walks... planning family field trips. I feel like I'm even failing at the SAHM thing. Argh. Then there are people who you
fear might resent you because of the fact that they're go, go, go and you are essentially your own boss.
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wredsky |
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Posts: 1841 (07/07/09 17:49:28) The Wordsmith |
Hey there. Massive welcome
This place rocks. You'll find a lot of people who relate to you on more than the ED factor. Nice work on finding us and I hope you get alot out of being here. You can talk about whatever's going on for you in your life, and know that people are reading and caring. So massive welcome again.  
wreds 
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 4 (07/08/09 16:43:41) |
thanks. appreciate it!
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wredsky |
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Posts: 1880 (07/29/09 18:33:49) The Wordsmith |
How you doing Vis? (we gotta shorten your name somehow
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wreds
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Mystiladi |
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Posts: 5577 (07/30/09 00:56:09) Motherly Wisdom |
hello bd (or vis!), and a hearty hope you come back to let us know how you're doing. plus, writing about our struggles is a huge stress reliever! hang in, you aren't alone, bd.
Last Edited By: Mystiladi
07/30/09 01:02:23.
Edited 1 times.
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Cladner |
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Posts: 1623 (07/31/09 11:26:24) Professional Gurlie Gurl |
Welcome Blurred Vision!
You've found a great place and everyone is like a big online family. I imgine being a mom is very stressful. Mys is our online mom here. She's great at motherly tips! Be gentle with yourself on the binging. You're doing the best you can. Come back soon! 
CLADNER
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 5 (08/05/09 07:16:24) |
Thanks guys. Yeah, I've haven't been on site much. I spend much of my time on FB... trying to cut it back a bit. The summer has been horrible for
me. When I first ended my temporary teaching position at the end of April, I had it all planned out. We would walk to the park everyday, take day trips...
things would be ideal. But it hasn't worked out that way. Each day, I try to get things moving along and find it more and more of a struggle to find any
motivation... It really sucks! And now, financially, things are starting to get tight. Boo.
Misti... I do have lots of friends with young children my age, not so much where I live, but back home where I grew up (about 1 1/2 hours from me) and many others on FB... Many of my friends work and I'm in a small minority being a SAHM. It's a real bummer. Finding it very difficult to function on a day to day basis, let alone plan outings or get togethers with them. Been trying more to be involved with happenings at church, but also finding that difficult. Very uncomfortable around people that I don't know that well. Very self concious. Anyhow, the anxiety I'm feeling at this moment is horrible. I'm trying to control the binging and kind of doing okay with that. At least it's been about a week since I've consumed an entire box of crackers, bag of chips, package of cookies or half gallon of ice cream. Buying the fresh fruit and veggies but still find myself reaching for carbs and refined sugars  Ugh.
Sorry this post is one of extreme negaitivity. Not feeling all the enthusiastic today. Hoping things will get better and almost thought they would. Day started out okay and at some point, I almost convinced myself that today was going to be awesome, but somehow, my motivation and enthusiasm has disappeared. |
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Cladner |
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Posts: 1626 (08/07/09 13:14:34) Professional Gurlie Gurl |
Hi Blurred Vision,
Great to see you back.  (though I'm sorry
that things are rough...... ) Posting what we feel regardless
of whether it is happy or sad helps. The board is here for you through whatever you are feeling.....
Facebook is a great networking tool, but it sounds like you are missing out on contact with other stay-at-home moms in real life....can you ask your friends to come and visit or make day trips? what about signing your kids up for play groups? Can you talk to a counsellor or friend about feeling lonely? Depression makes it hard to WANT to do anything. Don't be too hard on yourself that your plans didn't materialize. No one is perfect. Putting one foot in front of the other is sometimes the hardest. You're getting through each day and that's what matters. A week of no binging is awesome!  A favourite board
saying is, "progress, not perfection..."
Hang in there Blurred Vision. you're not alone. 
CLADNER
Last Edited By: Cladner
08/07/09 13:18:01.
Edited 1 times.
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 6 (08/07/09 19:49:35) |
thanks clad...
I at least found some energy yesterday to clean the livingroom carpet, a task that really needed to get done, and since hubby borrowed a friend's carpet cleaner, no procrastinating that for me... today was also slightly productive... would've liked to have gotteen in a walk this evening, but hubby wanted to go grab a bite. Haha... we drove around for almost a half an hour before he finally decided to go to the restaraunt I suggested to begin with. I'm very grateful for that cause I'd really been wanting a salad and I knew I could get a pretty good one there. Ugh, anyhow... yeah. I'll be back to update in a day or two... or a week. I don't know. For now, I'm just so freaking tired and irritable... I must go to bed! |
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wredsky |
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Posts: 1889 (08/07/09 19:58:51) The Wordsmith |
Awesome stuff from Cladner. She's a pretty wise girl. It does sound like depression Vis. If it doesn't lift in a while maybe you could think about
seeing a counselor like C said, or even think about meds. For now just try and ride it out, keep up the day to day things as much as you can, and it might lift
before you know it.
If you're too tired and demotivated to post, feel free to just hang out here and read all our rubbish 
wreds
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Guru G |
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Posts: 4641 (08/07/09 20:54:54) Fountain of Wisdom |
I know the feeling BV. Sleep can cure a lot of problems! Hope it worked for you.
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 7 (08/11/09 16:07:32) |
today was an okay day. Wasn't overly productive... house REALLY needs some attention. Oh well, I've been helping out a friend who is preparing for
dialysis. She is an insuline dependent diabetic with kidney failure. Also keeping me from my chores... I taught my 5 year old how to ride her bike today :-) As
far as NOT binging... been doing pretty well with that. Pretty easy to do when your stomach is on fire and so is the throat. Thinking acid reflux maybe? Makes
it uncomfortable to eat most everything I like cause it's all too rich... even coffee and diet soda irritate.
Guess that's my update for now... |
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wredsky |
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Posts: 1897 (08/11/09 17:37:55) The Wordsmith |
You're a good friend BV. And hey that's so cool about your 5 year old!
Sorry you're stomach and throat are on fire. It sounds like your body is trying to tell you something. Look after it. Be kind to it. Treat is gently and with respect. It's the only one you've got...
wreds
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 8 (08/11/09 18:29:07) |
Haha Wreds... I think blurry is a better NN... BV is a bacterial infection of the vaginal area... had it when I was pregnant with my little guy... ROFL!!!!!
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Mystiladi |
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Posts: 5588 (08/11/09 23:10:38) Motherly Wisdom |
i'm soooo sorry about your friend. how awful. this puts more stress on you, too, so no wonder you;re having gastric problems. have you tried rolaids or
mylanta? soda crackers are good, too, for that fiery feeling. and actually, you should probably stay away from soda and coffee as they are known tummy
irritants.
as for the household chores, they'll keep. take care of you first. your family needs you more than they need a spotless home.
hang in b! (i'm known for occasionally assigning one letter names.
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xxblurredvisionxx |
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Posts: 9 (08/12/09 00:07:41) |
Thanks, Mysti for your kind words. This friend is a newer friend (within past few months); somebody who happened to call the radio station where DH works.
She had won a prize and called in after said prize (concert tickets) were used to again thank him for the prize as well as report on the concert that she was
able to send her son and daughter to. They ended up talking for just over an hour, he invited her to visit our church and it all bloomed from there. She is
in a really weird "marrital situation", her car died and even her own kids are struggling enough to where they can't really afford to take time
off of work or gas money to run her around town to appointments and such. So you see, even though we're not longtime, close friends, she REALLY needs some
help I'm happy to do what I can to help her out. I mean, seriously, since I'm not working and can afford the gas and time right now, why should I NOT
help her out? Guess I'm more like my mom than I would like to think as this is soooo her kind of thing. As far as the acid reflux... soda crackers are a
great idea. Thanks. And while I pretty much figured that my diet soda and coffee are no-no's... I try to sneak them in anyhow. I just pay for it later.
BOO! Again, thanks Mysti for your kind words |
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Cladner |
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Posts: 1635 (08/13/09 13:25:12) Professional Gurlie Gurl |
You're a good friend B!
Doing good deeds for others is a huge self eestem booster for me. I'm glad you're reflux is better. Soda crackers help
my reflux as well as yogurt.
Take care!
CLADNER
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Mystiladi |
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Posts: 5596 (08/20/09 18:34:20) Motherly Wisdom |
Thanks, Mysti for your kind words. aww, no thanks needed, b. ...the concert that she was able to send her son and daughter to. how nice of her to give the tickets to her kids! i have always believed that the good we do comes back to us. now you are doing nice things for her, which will come back to you. as they say, 'what goes round, comes around.' she REALLY needs some help I'm happy to do what I can to help her out. you are such a good person and she's very lucky to have you for a friend. these days far too many people are apathetic - they don't want to 'get involved' and have all kinds of excuses why they don't. so it's refreshing to see that there are still people like you around, b. i'm sure she greatly appreciates everything you're doing for her. i hope she'll find the strength to get thru these rough times and things will improve for her soon. how are you doing...and feeling, b? how's the reflux? did soda crackers, or c's yogurt idea, help?
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Cladner |
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Posts: 1645 (08/21/09 11:28:11) Professional Gurlie Gurl |
I hope you're feeling better BV!!!
CLADNER
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